In this post, I am going to tell you which lessons I have learned from my eating disorder. I am going to give you an insight to the mental contructs I have right now because I chose to recover from my eating disorder. Considering my point of view as a Millennial, maybe I am not qualified to share this
experience. According to all the Boomers around me, I am considered to be very spoiled. I am considered to be selfish. What a surprise. Everybody on this planet happens to be selfish. The funniest part of this entire story is that Boomers are the parents of these spoiled Millennials. They are the ones responsible for spoiling them. There is a lot of irony in that phrase.
I can admit that I already learned a couple of harsh lessons from experiencing an eating disorder. It was an event that made me pause and move forward at the same time. If you want to know more about this experience, then please, read along.
This is the story of the eating disorder I experienced at 13-14 years old. I was admitted to the hospital because of severe malnutrition and risk of dying. At that moment, I felt so much guilt because of what was happening. Of course, by saying these words, I am seeking some attention. I mostly want to raise more attention to other people struggling with mental disorders. I want to show these people that they can escape out of their mentally disordered thinking pattern. Even though they must realize they will always carry around this mental sensitivity. I want to let them know that life can become brighter and better. Stigma sucks! You can choose to be brave. Use your power to change.
I will list some of the lessons I learned from the eating disorder that I suffered from.
I swam against the stream and I learned to become a salmon.
I want to swim against the stream when everyone else is just following along. There is more to life than what you might assume. It was not delivered to your doorstep in the form of a gift box. You must discover it yourself. You must work and spend all your energy to accomplish your dreams. Nothing in life happens for nothing.
“To do nothing is the way to be nothing.”
― Nathaniel Hawthorne
I discovered my moral compass that is against uniformity and political correctness.
I live according to my own moral compass and try to give as much as possible back to others. Just like me, you should not be guided by what everybody else says you should do. I do not like it when my free speech is limited by the social framework. For example, I can make both an environmentally conscious and less conscious decision. That is why I eat both plant-based foods and without restrictions. You decide which values and standards are important to you. As long as you do not harm others, it makes no sense to limit your freedom. Free yourself from the judgements of other people.
I started searching for some meaning in my life and have focus.
Like so many others, I am looking for some meaning in my life. Previously, I lost so much time feeling sorry for myself. Now, I realize I have no time to lose. Life is too short to be moaning about the futility of life. Life is too short to live from one existential crisis to another. Previously, I felt so down. Now, I have the courage to look ahead into my future.
“To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy, but it’s still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble.”
― Bill Watterson
I chose empowerment and not be a victim.
Before my eating disorder, I was always looking for social validation and acceptance of others. Spoiler alert! It s*cked when I was very sick! I thought I had to search for love and warmth from other people. I wished people showed their compassion to me. I wished people would stroke my ego when I felt down. Unfortunately, I got a lot of attention when I was very skinny. People will subconsciously give you the attention you seek. Now, I understand that the shadow behind my eating disorder was much more important. My anxiety, lack of self-confidence and mental emptiness are aspects that I must tackle myself. Nobody can solve that for myself.
I taught myself to let go of control.
I must honestly admit that I have not yet mastered this skill. Like many aspects of life, it is all about finding balance. Sometimes, you must be able to compulsively control your daily structure, such as during work. Then, when you have completed your job of the day, you can enjoy your freedom and spare time. Life is often a chain reaction. The one extreme can lead to another. They balance each other out.
I forced myself to eat dirt.
Some suffering mixed with some temporary anxious feelings can be the perfect formula to make us grow as an individual. You certainly do not have to encounter a mental disorder or another terrible event to become a stronger person. We must be willing to eat the dirt everyday. We must sometimes force ourselves to do the things we do not like. We must step outside of our own comfort zone.
These were the lessons I learned from my eating disorder. Let this journey throughout my own thought process be an inspiration for your own life journey. Life can teach you a lotbut only if you open your own eyes and dare to live.
Now, it is time for you to answer these questions. Which experience has made you to change? What have you learned during the process? I would love to hear from you.