Conversational misunderstandings

This is my personal story about conversational misunderstandings. The times that conversations seem to fall apart. Please enjoy this different, more emotional blog.

Are conversations easy?

They say conversations are easy. It is supposed to be easy to communicate in a smart and effective way. Conversations are not straightforward. They require a lot of expertise and understanding to succeed. You need to arrange your words in such a fashion they will coincide with the expectations of the receiver. Your hand gestures should be balanced out by an overarching sense of confidence. Humor is only applied if it does not burden the other person emotionally. Emotions have to be expressed in an upright and calm manner. The tone of your voice should only elevate if you have the authority to lead the conversation. The amount of words should be exactly sufficient to tell your story. Sentences should not be conflated with difficult expressions.

Conversational misunderstandings: conversations are not easy

Do conversations need to carry emotions?

Conversations are meant to carry emotions. Sad, angry, or happy emotions. The entire spectrum of emotions can be touched on during a talk. Sometimes, the message is not transferred correctly and the words keeps stuck in the endless void between two talking people. Frustrations are contained and the persons are left with feelings of misunderstanding and anger.

The premise of each conversation

They do not teach you in school how you should talk to people. They do not teach you how you should react when people hurt and humiliate you. A conversation starts with a universal agreement that each person will carry out mutual respect. However, respect is easily lost when you are stressed out because of lack of time or patience. Respect is sacrificed when your emotions cannot be controlled. Never should you reflect your own hurt feelings onto other people. Never should you expect that other people will take charge of your negative energy.

Conversations will fail. You cannot expect to succeed in every relationship. I have failed multiple times to transfer the much needed message. So many times I did not hold in my emotions when they should have stayed in my head.

Conversational misunderstanding: carry out mutual respect

You’re not alone

I know I am not alone. I am not the only person on this planet who has to relearn the art of having conversations each and every day. Sometimes, at the most difficult times, you don’t even need words. You do not have to temper a person by sharing your own egocentric story. You will show mutual respect if you forget your own story and remind the person of his own greatness. Each person deserves to be respected. Each person deserves to give his apologies. He need to have the space to express his feelings.

Self-doubt and lack of self-respect have been my troubled companions in my (professional) life. Never did I realize this energy would translate to other people. I am grateful to realize this early in life. Now I can be humble and take my responsibility for my previous mistakes. I am grateful to be surrounded by great people and teachers. I am grateful to have the room to make mistakes and to grow by learning from them.

Talk about your failures

Do not be afraid to talk about your failures. Do not be afraid to write down your feelings . If nobody listens, then you still have been able to put the words in their context and to distance yourself from them. Failures are a mere consequence of the actions in life. Reflect about the actions and make a plan on how to prevent them from happening again. That is where you will find your golden ticket.

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